Earth Died Screaming

Don't mind me, just fuckin' up your friends page.

2009-10-13T16:33:37Z

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-08-21T02:03:01Z

11:22 twitpic.com/eldd9 - Thrift stores are great. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-08-20T02:02:55Z

23:30 The crickets outside sound like the smoke munster from LOST. #
02:12 @ValerieFuller41 No thanks, toots! I got gamblin' to do, and those craps ain't gonna shoot themselves! #
02:38 @bbschaefer I managed to escape with being spammed only once. #
07:13 Ugh, a woman came through here wearing perfume that smells like fucking wine coolers. At least I think it was perfume. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-08-19T02:02:40Z

03:37 Tweet. #
06:04 Might be attending a Windows 7 conference in St. Louis in November. Free copy of Windows 7 Ultimate for all attendees. bit.ly/273lLQ #
11:04 @samu3lk If the Jedi cut off the vampire's head, it would die. Unless it was Dracula. Cut off an arm or something, and it'd just get mad. #
11:08 @samu3lk Wait, do lightsabers put off UV rays? If so, that vampire's fucked. #
11:19 @youngbillymays What are you, a friggin' court minstrel? #

2econd_draft @ 2009-08-01T02:20:00

2009-08-01T07:20:43Z

Workin' for nine days in a row.
FFFFUUUUUUU-

Also, if any of you assholes still play WoW, I'll be back on once I'm finished with these damned updates. 7 gigs and counting...

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-30T02:04:42Z

00:54 @darkmerrick Yeah, Michael J. Fox. #
07:29 I'm more affected by Billy Mays' death than Michael Jackson's. That's because Billy Mays was awesome, and Michael Jackson was just a weirdo. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-29T02:04:13Z

12:35 Watching Underworld. These vampires are awfully goddamn foppish. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-28T02:04:54Z

10:26 twitpic.com/8kfx8 - Found some creepy Tim Burton dinnerware at Hobby Lobby. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-27T02:04:40Z

01:19 (Via valleryxh) Michael Jackson actually died of food poisoning. They found 12 year old nuts in his mouth. #
01:21 In his will, Michael Jackson stated that he wished to be cremated and put into a sand box, so children could play with him for a change. #
01:22 With Michael Jackson's death, children the world over feel like something is missing inside them. #
01:46 Today, a famous white woman died. So did Farrah Fawcett. #
10:38 @samu3lk I bet that guy blows smoke in their faces. They just sit there looking at him, and the guy says, "Aw maaan. Look how hiiigh he is!" #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-25T02:05:12Z

08:40 I need to work out a way to get free beef jerky for life. If I managed that, I don't think I'd ever voluntarily eat anything else again. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-24T02:05:01Z

06:47 Francis Dolarhyde is an otherkin. "I AM THE GREAT RED DRAGON I WANT 2 GIEF U SCRITCHIES LOL RAWR LOL" #
10:56 Everyone crying about cloves has 3 months to stock up. Then, just buy online from Indonesia and it'll still be cheaper than buying here. #
11:03 @sarahstrange23 Which isn't far off the mark, since these days it seems like 15 year old emo kids and 50 year old Indian men smoke cloves. #
11:07 @samu3lk If they banned Swisher sweets and menthol, then it'd be the LA riots all over again, amirite? #
11:43 Just killed a housefly with hornet spray. Overkill? No. #
12:27 I don't think I've ever eaten Popeye's chicken. I'll probably have to remedy that by the end of this week. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-21T02:04:32Z

21:31 @bbschaefer Tomorrow: hand in a meat grinder? Paper cut? We'll have to wait and see! #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-18T02:05:40Z

00:38 Holy shit. I got out of my car to go in to work, and the whole ass of my pants ripped out. Went home and changed. It's a full moon tonight! #
06:21 Is anyone else not getting device updates? I suppose if you get device updates exclusively, you won't be reading this. WHAT-WHAT. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-17T02:04:54Z

10:49 Forgot we had a meeting today. Looks like I'll have to put off sleepin' for another hour or so. #
14:19 Do you think there's a market for pills that make people temporarily crazy? Not Charlie Manson crazy. More like Foil Hat and Bunker crazy. #
14:26 Spicy chicken stir fry: "om-nom" going in, "ow-fuck" coming out. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-16T02:04:37Z

13:26 Discovery Health Channel? More like "Discovery Pregnant Lady Channel for Pregnant Ladies," amirite? #
14:46 One time I saw this black guy handing out flyers on the street. I decided to see what it was all about, so I approached him... #
14:49 I was about to say something when I noticed the portrait of Malcolm X on the back. Then I noticed the furious look this guy was giving me... #
14:53 I decided I really didn't need a flyer from this man, nor did I feel the need to acknowledge his glare. I just walked past him, terrified. #
14:56 I've never been more positive that I was about to get my ass beat by a scary black man. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-14T02:04:47Z

13:19 @thatkevinsmith SModcast fodder: Buck Angel. Google him. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-13T02:04:34Z

00:54 @bbschaefer Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates that shit. They totally stole the idea from Rev3 (WebDrifter, DiggReel, etc.) #
00:59 Awful Hotel Guest Checklist - Rich old guy with pilled-up trophy wife: Check. #
07:09 So a couple of people got shot last night in Evansville. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-11T02:04:57Z

08:35 Anyone know what a cross on the finger means in the world of Russian prison tattoos? I need to know, but I'm without internet at the moment. #
11:12 Everyone's saying David Carradine most likely died of autoerotic asphyxiation. I totally called that shit. #
12:04 @rainnwilson What about "Mini-Dickmanns," from Germany? #
13:36 Whale Wars is seriously some retarded hippie bullshit. After all this time, they've only managed to be a minor annoyance to the Japanese. #
13:42 Then they boarded a Japanese boat and were shocked when they were taken hostage. Good job. You guys are really making difference. Jackasses. #
13:44 But since there was a typo in my last tweet, my whole argument falls apart. Oh, the shame! #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-10T02:05:19Z

02:10 @Widgett Ken's singing karaoke. Come listen. www.nutsontheroad.net/audience #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-09T02:05:57Z

03:41 Things I hate: Hippies, green tea, ironic bearded hipsters, Mac fanboys, "green" concepts, carbon credits, yoga, saying things are "so zen". #
03:50 Also: Jazz poetry, jazz and poetry in general, philosophy majors, people working on their novel at Starbucks, "you should read my blog." #
06:48 tinyurl.com/l3k9he - What if Kanye West is just retarded? It all makes sense now! #
11:02 Who the fuck is this #Eric kid, and why should I care? #
12:08 Poll: Who would win in a fight between a dozen 5-year-olds with pocket knives and a mountain lion? What if the kids are on PCP? #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-07T02:04:04Z

04:39 Why is it so damn hard to find a Japanese-made video game in which the male characters don't look like 14 year old girls? #
10:08 Bored out mah damn mind waiting for these assholes to tell me what's wrong with my car. #
10:13 God, the number of stupid things for douchebags to stick on their cars that they carry here is pretty astounding. #
12:39 Fed my fatass snake. She's always hungry and cranky, except for right after I feed her. Then she just sleeps for two days. Worst pet ever! #
12:42 Zach Braff has a weird, ghoulish smile. #
13:23 @rainnwilson And so it begins... #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-06T02:04:24Z

00:47 @bbschaefer They don't seem to realize that they're lucky to have people buy dvds in the first place. Expecting them to re-buy is silly. #
03:44 @tomgreenlive I think this episode needs a healthy dose of a certain macaw. #
12:34 There's a marathon of the original Land of the Lost series on SciFi. This show is fucking retarded, but I can't stop watching it. #
12:38 Scientology commercials now? Really? And what's with the script that sounds like a Tyler Durden "You're not your fuckin' khakis" speech? #
14:51 @bbschaefer Huh. I didn't know @artofmanliness was on Twitter. I've been reading their stuff for a few years now. (Still not manly. ;_; ) #
16:58 @bbschaefer So far, so good. I should have it all together by the end of next month, if all goes well. Gonna buy a tv first, though. #
21:44 Almost found myself banging on the floor with a cane 'cause the damn kids downstairs are playing their music too loud. I wish I were joking. #
21:45 @ParanormalPdcst I don't believe in the internet. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-05T02:04:43Z

12:44 David Carradine was undoubtedly some great wizard or lesser mage. Demons and imps across the land breathe a collective sigh of relief. #
13:25 A brave warrior of the wind lay vanquished, dashed against the Rock of Glory. Angels and demons alike weep at his passing. #davidcarradine #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-04T02:04:20Z

01:59 Does anyone even use IM clients anymore, or has Twitter taken over? #
08:15 twitpic.com/6iz6d - Wolf eyes on rear window. I smell a furry. #
09:14 twitpic.com/6j1mt - Man on a cell phone while driving. His bumper sticker reads 'HANG UP AND DRIVE!' #
09:18 Picked up some chicken, gyoza sauce, and jew cookies at Schnuck's. Brb, heart disease. #
09:42 Turns out edarem, a crazy, scary old man on YouTube, is a convicted sex offender who's really into young boys. Somehow, I couldn't tell. #

Today's Twitter Posts

2009-06-03T02:05:04Z

08:26 Awesome. "Hook" is on AMC. #
09:07 Just remembered how much I hate that fat little black kid in this movie. #
09:29 Well, Marilyn Manson's new album isn't quite as awful as the last one, but it's still just so-so. He's tapped the "shock" well dry, I think. #
09:34 15 years ago, if you sang about the Antichrist, or gun violence, or used the word "nigger," it'd be shocking. Nowadays, it's just kinda sad. #
12:33 Just realized that Justin Long's character in "Zack and Miri" uses an iPhone. #
13:31 One time, I sneezed, and the sound registered in my head as the sound effect in Super Mario World when you jump on Yoshi's back. #